Scream Like a Man

Text Adventures

You see an article or a twitter toot or whatever.

read the thing

You see a link that looks interesting.

click the link

You just made be Mike Arrington some cash.

undo

I’m sorry, I don’t understand “undo”

damnit

Swearing won’t help.

Enough of that

No thanks, right? I mean it’s all well and good to just close the tab, of course, when you go to a site you don’t want to work for, but the ads have already loaded. That’s revenue. Gross.

So I made this greasemonkey script to zap all links to all the sites I don’t want to work for. If it’s too late—say a shortened url tricked me—I’d rather see a goat scream like man than see what a mistake I just made, so it does that too. You can edit it to do something less drastic of course, but where’s the fun in that?

var url = location.href;
// add all the domains here
var natch = /(DOMAINS YOU WANT TO AVOID GO HERE)\.\w+\//; 

// Serious options
// var ohShit = 'about:blank';
var betterLink = '#';

// Comedy options
var ohShit = 'http://grantstavely.com/evil/';
// var betterLink = ohShit;

// if it's too late
if (url.match(natch)) {
  window.location = ohShit;
}

// if it's not too late
list = document.getElementsByTagName('a');
for (i=0; i<list.length; i++) {
  if (list[i].href.match(natch)) {
    var scream = document.createElement('a');
    scream.setAttribute('href', betterLink);
    scream.innerHTML = list[i].innerHTML + "<sup>✌</sup>";
    list[i].parentNode.replaceChild(scream, list[i]);
  }
}

Run that against the entire web and it turns nasty links into neuters, and adds ✌ to them so that it’s obvious.

Well, I think it’s fun.

Install the greasemonkey script

(You need greasemonkey for it to work)